Soap

Do you like soap? I hope so! I don't want to stand next to someone who smells of B.O.! Yuck! "But soap is so expensive!" Well soap can be made! I've done it, and I can actually say, unlike all those mean narrators for the "dangerous" shows, please try this at home! (With proper care and knowledge, yes I do have to be sure you're safe.) Here's what you'll need:
7 oz. olive oil or lard, or something of the sort (fat or oil basically)
14 oz. water (there's really nothing like water, so don't use anything in place of water...)
7 oz. lye (No I don't mean lie to your enemies, or lye in bed, I mean the chemical lye.)

Now what you need to do, is mix the lye and the water. Be sure you pour the lye into the water, NOT the other way around. Be careful! This will immediately get hot! (That's chemistry for ya!) You see, the lye mixing with the water breaks up the molecules in lye. Lye is NaOH. Mixing water and lye turns the lye into Na- OH +! This will heat the mixture to approx. 215 degrees. Let it cool down to 110. Then, heat the oil/lard/something of the sort to 110 degrees too. Now you need to mix the two together. Don't shake, but mix it well! (shaking it would get it all over you, and you be burn up! Not a good idea!) Now, let it sit in a mold for a couple days. This lets it harden. Now, you cut it into the shapes and sizes YOU want it! That's right, you get to choose! Now, you have to wait...for 3-4 WEEKS!!! BOO!!! I know, it's a long time, but hey, it's well worth the wait! And now, you can smell nice and fresh! Next time, if you want artificial smell, you can add...well...artificial scent liquids! :) Enjoy your soap!